I decided to make one more dusting visit to the second floor reading area and put away any volumes not yet returned to the racks before calling it a night. That's when I saw her.I glanced around the room as I stepped from the third floor stairway and saw her sitting at one of the corner reading tables. She was out of sight from most of the room, hidden from the librarian at her desk near the front stairs. I watched her for a moment as she continued her reading. What had attracted my attention was her flushed face and movement under the tight sweater she wore. Looking closer I saw that one arm was mostly hidden by the desk and book she was reading, deciding that the movement I saw was her own hand beneath her sweater. She was playing with her own breast. Her eyes were glued to a book before her, studying it through partly lidded eyes. I stood and watched as her other hand came in view and turned a page... a much smaller and glossier page than that which belonged to the volume before. It’s more that she has that defense mechanism in place and doesn’t realize it.’ I nodded as I drank more of my tea. What Jeff said made sense. ‘What do I do?’ I asked looking at him. Jeff looked at me, a slight smile on his face. ‘There is only one thing you can do.’ ‘What’s that?’ ‘Love her. Let her know that she isn’t alone. That she can lean on you. That you’re not going to hurt her like Danny did, or leave her like her father did.’ He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. ‘In time I think she will come back to you.’ I looked down at my glass. ‘I want to marry her.’ Jeff chuckled. ‘Have you told her yet?’ I shook my head. ‘No. It just hasn’t seemed like the right time. Every time I think it is the right time, I…I…’ ‘You get cold feet?’ ‘Yea.’ Jeff just nodded, ‘That’s understandable. It took me almost a year to get up the courage to ask JoAnne to marry me.’ I looked over at the older man, ‘really?’ Jeff nodded. ‘It’s natural to be afraid of commitment.’ I bristled. ‘It has.
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